Swirly Thing Alert

Friday, January 05, 2007

Hire The Morally Handicapped

Q: What's even better than winning a Gold Medal at the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded in the first place.

We're not ALL idiots, Georgie.

We know what it means when you & your parroting bobbleheads insist on a new era of bipartisianship, of putting politics aside & working together, of putting the past behind us on a New Way Forward (reg trade pat pend).

You're saying "pleasepleasePLEASE don't treat us the same way we treated you."

Well, not to worry ... we couldn't POSSIBLY be as cruel, as rabidly hate-filled, as so freaking arrogant as you. We'll come in & clean up your mess, & may even salvage a decent legacy for you. Mostly, of course, we'll just be trying to keep you from touching anything else - we'll carefully put all those big-boy agendas up on a high shelf, out of your clumsy reach, where they'll be waiting safe & sound for a competent & qualifed president to handle.

The rest of the country is FINALLY seeing through all the bullshit we've been pointing out lo these ever-so-long six years. You've actually helped that happen once you quit even pretending to be honest. We knew you always meant the opposite of what you said: "i'm a uniter" (coughgagblech) ... "when i'm talkin' wiretappin', i'm talkin' warrants" ... "we do not torture". But admitting you lied about retaining Rummy & that PSYCH there's no connection between Iraq & 9-11? Priceless.

Your verbal gymnastics no longer fool anyone; you were called uncurious, so you added the word "interesting" to every fucking speech ... we accused you of living in a bubble, so you think saying "i unnerstand that" makes us believe you actually do. And i just love the "lookit lookit i readed a whole BOOK - what books do YOU read?" as your new ice-breaker. Your presidential library is going to have the accoustics of the Met. And probably it's own weather system.

You sound utterly ridiculous.

We have politely sat by & let you call us names & cast doubt on our patriotism ... we have let your talking heads loudly drown out our words & ideas ... we've behaved with quiet dignity & refused to rise to your taunts. Like the tortoise, we have slowly trudged on a steady path & it has finally paid off as the insane hyperactive hare goes flying off the racetrack to gawd-knows-where.

We are grown-ups. We will show you professional courtesy because that's what we do.

Just don't confuse that with respect.